On grappling with dishonesty

Dishonesty is an interesting concept isn’t it? People tell the truth, people lie, and then there are many versions in-between. It’s not just a matter of black and white, there is a span of grey area which can be difficult to deal with.

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be lied to, and yet we ourselves often lie – even if it is just a tiny white lie. So maybe when it comes down to it, maybe we ourselves actually don’t always want to hear the full truth. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, the tiny little lies that creep in… like when someone gives us a present that we instantly know that we dislike immensely (an itchy jumper knitted by your favourite aunt; a trinket for your home that you absolutely do not want to put on display) and we have to put on a big show of how much we love the present so we don’t hurt the present giver’s feelings. I know there are people who say they don’t like a present straight away, they are brutally honest. I’m not sure I want to head there, it feels unnecessary just for the sake of upholding truth.

My mother taught me to always tell the truth, and that it would have less consequences than telling a lie. After giving this some thought, it made sense to me, and I have been telling ‘mostly’ the truth ever since.

 

For this reason I have always struggled with people who lie about bigger stuff. pinocchioGenerally I try to avoid being with people who can lie big. However, Spirit put a spanner in my works (aka as life lessons) and has put people into my life that I care deeply about, and these people are able to lie big. I have had to do a lot of soul searching to reassess whether it is so important to always know the truth, and have come to the conclusion that it is the motivation behind the lie that needs to be considered.

If someone is lying to make themselves look better, or to avoid you thinking badly about them, the lie is based on lack of self-worth and one should be compassionate with such people. If someone is lying for personal gain and selfishness, then I think I would respond differently. I would at the very least distance myself from such people. Thankfully I have mainly had to deal with the former in recent years, so I pick up on the lie, take it as it is – a way of making them feel less bad about themselves, and move on.

If I look at this issue from a spiritual perspective, all I see is a soul on a journey. This is their particular weakness, I have different weaknesses, but essentially we are all in the same boat trying to manage as best we can.

 

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